Verily, Allah has created man and woman as one of His enormous signs that indicate His immense wisdom the Almighty. He caused affection and mercy between them which could not have been except by the way Allah wills and to implement His way the most Purified and the most High who said:

(ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها، وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة)

 And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts):

It is part of His signs through marriage that each individual is a source of peace, comfort, tranquility and mercy. They bring upon each other mercy and happiness after the stress of daily work. This is in addition to the resultant effects of love and mercy after the hubbub of life and what might have destabilized their peace and serenity. This is the basis of marital life. But sometimes circumstances do arise that counteract this basis whereby quarrel and discord occur at varying levels. It may occur often and many times and it may seldom occur at other times. What is the secret behind that in a nut shell? What can be the simple educational solution in brief?

However, poor family background is part of the reasons underlying that in addition to inadequate surrounding factorial model. Nevertheless the presence of these factors some couples may fail to realize them. The husband may not have also understood the special characteristics of women and vice versa with respect to the wife which is very worth  taking note of.

Some of the most critical reasons is lack of knowledge as regards the marital rights from both the husband and wife. Even if one of them knows these rights he may not act upon them as piety and the fear of Allah demand. The husband may not also be aware of the abundant recompense for one who honours and strives to guide and amend his wife for the better to couple with ignorance on the part of the wife of the reward and merits of obeying and following the instructions of the husband with wisdom and efficiency.

It is also part of the reasons that the couples reveal their marital misunderstandings to outsiders which  normally results in intrusion of some with the spirit of favoritism and nepotism and not to seek the prevalence of truth and justice. Some couples may also fail to consider each other's psychological emotions . A man's state is never static. Rather, it is in fact subject to afflictions and adversity of life. Sometimes he is happy and the other he is sad. Some couples may also misinterpret an error that occurs from his counterpart as act of deliberation which may not be true in at all levels.

The Solution to these problems is just to refer to the aforementioned reasons and causes and endeavor to get rid of them with the realization that souls especially of the married couples are susceptible to change and amendment. Therefore one should not be despair of hope in the change of situations. Rather the basis should be persistent prayers and supplications to Almighty Allah and by starting to fulfill the rights one owns to his counterpart without anticipating same from him or her. By doing that The counterpart will realize this change and get spurred to act similarly. Though this change may be slow and gradual but he has to do this as a mark of fear, obedience and response to the rights of Allah as this will guarantee continuity for the better. He or she has to learn the rights of the counterpart thoroughly if he or she was ignorant of them because one will account before Allah the most High for the marital rights he has treated with recklessness. Examine and ponder how Allah has summarized the rights of woman when He said:

(وعاشروهن بالمعروف)

live with them (i.e. women) on a footing of kindness and equity.

Check if you are living with your wife on this footing of kindness and equity.

The prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be with him) said: "the best of you is the best of you to his wife and I am the best of you to my wife".

In respect of the wife the prophet said: "If she observes the obligatory prayers, preserves her private parts and obeys her husband she will gain admission into the paradise ". Can there be anything more rewarding for a woman than this obedience and patience with  the husband?

When the situation of affairs gets worsen between the couples they should seek the assistance of the experienced righteous and learned scholars because they will be able by the Grace of Allah to proffer solution to their problems.

Composed by: Prof. Khalid Bin Hamid Al-Hazimi.

Translated by: Abdul Ghani Isa.